Religion is a lot more like politics.
The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, “Can I buy that TV”
“No”
“Why not?”
“Because your a blonde.”
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red.
She returned to the electronic store and said, “Can I buy that TV?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“Your a blonde.”
So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, “Can I buy that TV?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“You’re a blonde”
“How can you tell I’m a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!”
“Because that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave!”
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Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
Yo mama's so fat, when someone drove by her they said "Wow, whales can walk!"
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My mother-in- law is so cross-eyed, that when she cries the tears roll down her back!
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Q: What's a blonde's favorite drink
A: A cocktail.
Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?
A: Because they can.
Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches?
A: Same reason.