Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, “I’ve got to take a crap.” The other said, “Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap.” The first one said, “But I don’t have any paper to wipe my ass.” The other blonde replied, “You have a dollar, don’t you?” The first one said, “Yeah, I’ve got a dollar. That’s a great idea– I’ll use that!” He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes. His friend looked at him and asked, “What in the hell happened to you?” The first one replied, “Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?”
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right? Well he's currently making his third attempt.
What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Three cheapskates try to figure out a way of killing themselves with one bullet – so they put their heads together.
Q: Where do cowboys cook their meals? A: On the range.
Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarrhea so he thought he was melting
Why were so many niggers killed in the Vietnam war?? because when the sergeant said to "get down", they all got up and started dancing.
Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? A. Goes-in-tight!
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove? About a half an hour...