A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms.
"That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk.
"What are the eight cents for?" asks the blonde.
"It says one dollar right here on the packaging."
"Tax," replies the clerk.
"Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."
A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
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Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter.
After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs."
Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone."
The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"
Q: Why do women wear black underwear?
A: They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked.
"Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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