What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a trampoline? A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
What did Zimbabweans have before candles? Electricity.
What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S? 4Skin.
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Mary: No madam! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher: Why? Mary: My mother will not allow me to go so far!
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her. "If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."
I’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man they love in a cat.