When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
Yo' Mama is so skanky, she was asked to leave the OTB.
Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.
Yo' Mama is so stanky, even the garbage man won't pick her up.
A man with a bad rash on his hands went to his doctor. The latter examined his hands carefully for sometime and consulted many large volumes on his shelves. Finally, he asked the patient: "Have you had this trouble before?" He answered: "Yes." Doctor said: "You have again got it."
There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.