My son asked me today, "Dad, what music did you like growing up?" "Led Zeppelin," I replied. "Who?" he said. "Yeah, I liked them too."
Q: What's the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? A: Your mom can't take a joke.
Which branch of the military do babies join? The infantry!
I'm not racist, some of my best slaves are black.
A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump. The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. Move out!" As scared as they are, they all make it out the door. The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing. He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle. He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand. Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A:Because you can't drink and derive...
Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
There is a 1000 niggers and one white guy, what is the white guy called? Warden.
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra? A: Oooh - Henry!