Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she considers the give-a-penny/take-a-penny cups part of her own "Save Yo' Mama" foundation.
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else". The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time". The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.
A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. you're losing part of your load". She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. you're losing part of your load." The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MA'AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK......."
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
”Hey grandma, did you see my pills? They write LSD on the box outside!” ”Screw the pills, didn’t you see the dragons in the kitchen?”
Yo momma's so fat when she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.