If a lawyer and a tax official were both drowning and you could only save one of them, what would you do; go to lunch or read the paper?
I married my wife for her money.
And believe me, I’ve earned it.
Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honour.
There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk.
The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink.
The man leaves.
He walks in the side door and asks the bartender for a beer.
A little frustrated, the bartender repeats the answer he said before.
The man leaves. He then comes in the other side door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer.
The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar.
He leaves.
He then comes in the BACK door, comes the the bartender, and before he can say a word, the bartender explodes at him.
"I told you already, you are way to drunk, you can not have another beer!
Get out of my bar!"
Disgruntled, the man looks at the bartender and asks, "Man, how many bars do you work at?"
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He was the last of his race!
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it?
Major Bumsore.
Why did the bareback performer ride his horse?
Because it got too heavy to carry.
Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
Vote: