What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport? A: Baaasket baaall!
It was mealtime during a flight on Blonde Airlines. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.
Q: What is height of Honesty? A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood.
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!