Two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other: "Man, it's hot in here!" The other one says: "Ah! A talking muffin!"
Yo' Mama is so poor, she rolls her own tampons.
Yo Momma is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.
What is a bunny's favorite music? Hip-hop.
Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.” The gentleman replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch? A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
Question: What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis? Answer: You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
The first half of life if ruined by your parents, the second by your kids.