A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant." The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?" She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home? A search warren.
Q: Why are two blonde girls fighting on a motorcycle? A: They are fighting because they both want to sit next to the window.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
Q: Why did the blonde have trouble in the ladies' room? A: She is not used to pulling her own pants down.
"Hi! My name is Gertrude," said the lady next to him on the plane. "It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday. I’m so excited! I remember when he was just a little thumbkin and now he’s already three! It’s really hard to believe. He’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen! You know what? Hold on, I think I might have a picture on me. Let me take a look in my purse, yes, here it is, just look at him, isn’t he adorable. Do you see his dimple on his left cheek? Simply adorable! I could stare at his picture all day. Oh my, and you should hear him on the phone! He is just the cutest, he says to me in the cutest voice 'Hi Grandma!' It just gets me all teary eyed." After what seemed like two hours for the poor man sitting next to her, Gertrude seemed to realize that perhaps she was talking a bit too much. "You know, I feel terrible! Here I am just talking and talking without letting you get in a word edgewise! Tell me.. what do you think about my Grandson!"
Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.
Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
Q: What’s the difference between men and pigs? A: Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake? A: Must be an earthquake.