Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico.
They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them.
As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river.
One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light."
The other said: "What do you think I am, stupid!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
Your mama is so thin she stepped on a scale and a scale said no papers plz.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her flyswatter doubles as a spatula.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, Red Lobster kicked her out for bringing her own crabs.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she was born, her mama called her a treasure, so her daddy offered to bury her.
Why did the semen cross the road?
Because I wore the wrong sock today.
Vote:
Three policemen are sitting in a car.
Bored, as cards and domino make them sick already.
On thinks of an idea:
Guys, lets play golf.
All we need is a stick, ball and a hole.
I can arrange a stick, – one says.
I will get a ball, - adds another.
Guys, I’m not playing this dirty game, - says the third one.
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower.
The other 2% have never been to prison.
Vote:
Yo mama so stupid that when she turned on airplane mode...
She thought she could fly.