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Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
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What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
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What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? Stegosaur-rust.
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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
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Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she took a ladder to a Giants game.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
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Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
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I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head. Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
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