Q: What did the apple say to the worm?
A: You're boring me. 
Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...
Vote:
Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so fat, I had to dip her in flour to find her wet patch.
Yo' Mama is so stanky, even the garbage man won't pick her up.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother.
One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end…
"And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?
He wanted to raised stewed beef.