Best jokes ever

Texan: "Where are you from?" Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions." Texan: "Okay — where are you from, jackass?"
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More jokes about: life
What does a cannibal eat with cheese? Pickled organs.
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More jokes about: disgusting, food
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. "Sorry I cant serve you," states the barman. "Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. "Youre under 18," replies the barman.
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, age, beer
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet? A:To stamp out fires. Q:Why do elephants have flat feet? A:To stamp out burning ducks
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More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
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More jokes about: single, relationship
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As hes drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom. When he comes back about 15 minutes later, theres another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer, money, time
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school? A: The "elf"-abet!
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More jokes about: elf, school
Yo momma’s so ugly, they use her face as a cure for constipation.
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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, new year