Only 3 things that are infinite 1.Human Stupidity 2.Universe 3.WinRar Trial
I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped. Saved myself a fiver.
The bartender asks: "Would all three of you like some beer?" The first one replies, "I don't know." The second one replies, "I don't know either." The third replies, "Yes."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."
There was a boy watching tv with his parents. A sex scene comes on. The boy asks what the people are doing. The mom said "they were just making a cake." The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."
Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
Chuck Norris can mute silence.
What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea.
Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart? A: Chuck Norris' fist
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.