A school in the United States is on fire. One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them. After half of an hour the upper fireman asks: Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids? Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Make choking noises...
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher? Cheryl: I don’t know. Phil: He has only one pupil.
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower. The other 2% have never been to prison.
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"