First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ”I’m Jesus Christ.” The first priest says, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” The drunk says, ”Look, I can prove it.” and walks back into the bar with the priests. The bartender takes on look at the drunk and exclaims, ”Jesus Christ, you’re here again?”
On the beach, how can you recognise a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll? He doesn’t stare at the bikinis, he stares at the beach balls.
My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."
Why do niggers always have sex on their minds? Because they have pubes on their heads!
There were three guys in Hell - Iranian, American, and a Chinese man. They asked Satan to let them call their family. The American called and talked for 10 minutes. He payed $1,000. The Chinaman called and talked for 15 minutes. He payed $2,000. The Iranian talked for an hour and only paid $10. The other men complained and Satan responded, "A call from Hell to Hell is local.
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.
Knock Knock Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? I thought you said you would never forget.