Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
Vote:
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
Vote:
How do you get a Mexican chick to blow you?
You decorate your wiener with leaves.
Trust me, Mexicans love blowing leaves.
You're so ugly, Yo' Mama had to be drunk to breastfeed you.
Your momma is so old, I slapped her in the back and her titties fell out.
Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ?
Doctor: I deal with you later.
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
Lipstick.