Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place.
A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal.
Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
Chuck Norris made Journey stop beleiving.
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Yo mama so fat when she fell on my iPod it became an iPad.
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What did God say when he made the first niggers?
Oops! Burnt another one!
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Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status?
A: Elf-employed.
"Grandpa, grandpa! I'm watching a soccer game!"
Grandpa: "Who's playing?"
Grandson: "Austria-Hungary."
Grandpa: "Against who?"
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself....
Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
Yo momma is so poor she ran after a trash can truck with her shoping list.