If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.
Gomer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours?
A: Put Janet Reno in charge.
You know "The Matrix" that was Chuck Norris' very first dream.
Vote:
Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
Vote:
If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
Vote:
Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
Vote:
Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
Vote:
I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
Vote: