Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos. That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.
Why do polo bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place.
Chuck Norris won more Olympic medals than the hole world... Including himself.
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry? A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown? Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw." "So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked. "One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up." The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden.