Best jokes ever

Why was the lion-tamer fined? He parked on a yellow lion.
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The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with pictures of favorite lawyers on them. The people that use them don’t know which side to spit on!
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Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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How are tigers like sergeants in the army? They both wear stripes.
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Hip-Hop is dead because of Chuck Norris.
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Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
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Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde? A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
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Two women are digging in the garden. One pulls out a foot-long carrot. She says, "This one reminds me of my husband." The second woman says, "Your husband's is that long?" "No that dirty."
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An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
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