Best jokes ever

Herm is 85 years old and retired. He gets a checkup with his physician. A week or so afteward the doc sees Herm strolling the boardwalk with his arm around a beautiful, comely young female. The doctor stops him and asks, “Herm, you must be feeling terrific, yes?” Herman says, “Just following orders, Doc. You told me to get a hot mama and be cheerful." The physician exclaims, “Herm, that's not what I told you! I said, ‘Your heart's got a murmur. Be careful.’”
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Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
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Why did the blonde go to KFC? She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
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Q: What’s the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee–If No Recovery!
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What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.
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First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
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Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
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Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
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For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit. We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly." "How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
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Yo momma’s so ugly, her pillows cry at night.
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