Three blonde men are on one side of a wide river and don't know how to get across. The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across. The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across. Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.
Yo mama is so small that she plays handball on the curb.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
Yo' Mama's hair is so full of dandruff, when she shook her head, the principal called a snow day.
A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swung him around in a circle. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, what are you doing?" And the blind man says, "Don't mind me, I'm just looking around."
Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?" Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.