Workplaces are like septic tanks: All the biggest lumps eventually rise to the top.
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A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
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A guy walked into his friend’s office.
He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what’s up with you?," he asked.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She’s hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that," he said, "Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither. He’s bald."
A wife told his husband to whisper her dirty things, the man then replied, "The kitchen, the living room, the conservatory and the dining room."
Q: How many blonde jokes are there?
A: One. The rest are all true stories.
Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise.
A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.
First came one of the straight guys and his wife.
St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much.
You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."
Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much.
You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"
The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."
A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery, the doc is concerned about the babys weight, "Is he bottle fed or breast fed?
The woman replies, "Breast fed."
The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts.
He pinches her nipples and sucks and rubs both breasts for a while ...
"No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk."
Woman replies, "I know, Im his granny ... but Im glad I came!"
Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated.
When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "Oh my! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"
The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!"
Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, "...Yeah, and cold, too!"
A boy watches his mum and dad having s*x he ask, "What are you doing ?"
His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!"
Boy say, "Do her d*ggy style I want a puppy."
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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Joke has 82.24 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, old people