YO momma is so old, I slit her throat and dust came out!
A young guy walks into a bar. An old drunk sits with a shoe box on the stool next to him. The guy asks, "What's in the box?" The older guy says matter-of-factly, "A South American Blow Job Toad." The young guy looks around. "Can I try it?" The older guy nods. The young guy goes to the men's room and returns 20 minutes later. "That was amazing," he says, "You've got to sell it to me." The old drunk concedes to sell the toad for a hefty sum. The happy young man struts home and meets his wife at the door. "Where the hell have you been? What's in the box?" she demands. "South American Blow Job Toad." "So?" asks the wife. "So, teach it to cook and get the f**k out."
Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex? To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.
Your momma is so old, I slapped her in the back and her titties fell out.
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea. The second also asks for tea. "And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter. When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
Yo mama is so fat when she sat on WALMART she lowered the price.
Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.