Why is sex like a game of bridge?
You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.
When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
MEN Vs WOMEN
1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup.
2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip.
3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery.
4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?"
After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor".
The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair".
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news".
The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
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A nigger and a spic fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
The spic, the nigger never makes it because he's stopped by the rope.
Two chess players were in a hotel lobby, bragging to each other about their recent victories.
The manager comes over,
"Could you go to your rooms now, please?"
"Why?!"
"I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
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Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
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