A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale it says TO BE CONTINUED...
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul.
It's a myth.
Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town.
What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright?