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Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
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A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
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Snow. One of the rare times the phrase "8 - 12 inches" is associated with something white.
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Q: Why did the Avon lady walk funny? A: Her lipstick.
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Why was the BLIND blonde sitting on newspaper? So she can lip read.
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Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!
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A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. "I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team," "That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team." "That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."
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Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
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A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house. They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says, "Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
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Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's O.J. again. He's up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations." "Donations!" I said, "How much you got so far?" He said "about ten gallons."
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