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An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in a honeymoon suite. All night long, the bellboy hears laughing and clapping sounds from their room. The next morning, he asks the old man how he can do it all night at his age. The husband replies, "First, I remove my clothes. Then, I lie down on the bed face up. Then, my wife removes her clothes and lifts up my penis with one hand, and we make a bet. If it falls to left when she lets go, I win; if it falls to right, she wins." The bell boy asks, "Well, what if it doesn't fall?" "Then we both win," says the old man.
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Q: Why couldn't the pony sing? A: Because he's a little hoarse.
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Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac? A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
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Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
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Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man? A: A lazy b*tch.
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Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? A: They think their picture is being taken.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party? They gave him the cold shoulder!
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris