Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
Two drunks are sitting side by side in a bar. One of the drunks goes to the bathroom but neglects to button up his fly when he’s finished. He staggers back to the bar, sits on a bar stool, and his penis flops out on the bartop. The other drunk yells, ‘Snake!’ and hits the penis with a bottle. The first drunk shouts, ‘Hit it again! It just bit me!’
The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
Chuck Norris knows the last number of infinity.
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore.
When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.
A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied “Jesus died with a thief on either side. I just thought I’d check out the same way.”