Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes. They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them." And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
What do u call a bunch of black buried up to their heads in dirt? Afro turf.
Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
My mama would whip my butt so bad in the grocery store, they would announce it on the speakers.
Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so. He remind him of Trivette...
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’. I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.