Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
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Chuck Norris can land a multi-hit combo with only one punch.
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A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while."
The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once.
The ground didn't make it.
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Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus.