Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? A: It's called Sosumi.
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer. "That will be one ruble," says the bartender. "One ruble!" the customer protests, "last week it was only fifty kopeks!" "Well," replies the bartender, "it's fifty kopeks for the beer and fifty kopecs for the perestroika." Reluctantly, the customer gives the bartender a ruble, and is surprised when the bartender gives him back fifty kopecs and says, "We are out of beer."
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
Teacher: "What is seven Q plus three Q?" Student: " Ten Q"Teacher: "You're Welcome."
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff? Tequila
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.