Best jokes ever

Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
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Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
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Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
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More jokes about: men, wine, work, food
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None, Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.
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Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? A: It's called Sosumi.
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Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
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Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, animal
A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer. "That will be one ruble," says the bartender. "One ruble!" the customer protests, "last week it was only fifty kopeks!" "Well," replies the bartender, "it's fifty kopeks for the beer and fifty kopecs for the perestroika." Reluctantly, the customer gives the bartender a ruble, and is surprised when the bartender gives him back fifty kopecs and says, "We are out of beer."
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More jokes about: alcohol
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.
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Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
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More jokes about: disgusting, drunk