According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid: "Is your mom at home?" "Nope, she's not here", says the naughty kid, quite scared. "And your father?" "No, he has hidden away as well..."
Zeke: Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics? Kyle: I haven't a clue. Zeke: Because they couldn't keep their trunks up!
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Write a message on an upside-down paper cup that alludes to something horrible being trapped under it. Leave it on a coworker's desk or in a conference room.
Q: Whats the generic form of Viagra? A: Mycoxaflopin.
Find a sleeping person, fill their hand with shaving cream and then tickle their nose.
Put tape over the optical sensor of someone's mouse.
Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.