Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.
Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow?
You just don't follow him that close!
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What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge?
Cool music.
Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: They are easier to keep amused.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny.
Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke.
A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish."
After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer."
The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared.
The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
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Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.