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A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it." "Oh yes dear, what happened?" "I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks." "Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks! What did you do with them?" "Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
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Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
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What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, she's going to be in trouble when the baboon wants its ass back.
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Yo mama's so black she went to night school and got marked absent.
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One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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Yo momma is so fat she was walking down the street, tripped and broke her leg and gravy rolled out.
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A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
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Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
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How does the LAPD play poker? Four clubs beat a king.
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