Yo' mama so poor, she fills her ice trays with toilet water!
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go on holiday to a tropical island. The brunette takes a beach umbrella, the redhead takes a crate of suntan oil, and the blonde takes a car door. ‘What are you doing with a car door?’ asks the redhead. The blonde replies, ‘If it gets too hot, we can roll the window down.’
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Yo' Mama is so poor, her tv only has two channels: on and not working.
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?" "That it is, "Irish Mike replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball." "You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat. "How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?" demanded Mike. "Well," mused Pat, "there's a lesson in this somewhere." "That there is," replied Irish Mike...." 'Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover."
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she did a cartwheel, she kicked an angel in the nuts.
Drinking a non-alcoholic beer is like muffing your sister, it tastes the same but something's not right about it.
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it." "Oh yes dear, what happened?" "I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks." "Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks! What did you do with them?" "Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.