I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
What''s the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo? At a straight rodeo everyone yells, "Ride that sucker"
The husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet the wife stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came back to his senses, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!"
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush. "Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman." "OK," says Ivan. After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to use a telephone pole as a tampon.