How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’ George Burns
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."
Q: Why do blacks walk the way they do? A: Because they spent the first 9 months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.