Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you? CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking? TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking. CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that? TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank. CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out? TECH: I'm not sure I understand? CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money
The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket & slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint my house!"
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. In today’s civilized society, it is called golf.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: sport
A worker approaches his employer and holds up his last wage packet. ‘This is two hundred pounds short,’ he says. ‘I know,’ says the employer. ‘But last week I overpaid you two hundred pounds, and you didn’t say anything.’ ‘Well,’ says the worker. ‘I don’t mind an occasional mistake. But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.’
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money
I’ve been very depressed lately. My wife’s threatened to leave me. But even that hasn’t cheered me up.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
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