Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!" When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.” “Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.” So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks. The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”
How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.
Chuck Norris' keyboad has no delete key. Chuck Norris never makes a mistake!
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her vagina's in the Axis of Evil.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.