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Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
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More jokes about: cop, redneck, alcohol
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000." The client asked, "What? How's that possible?" The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."
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What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
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Yo momma’s so fat, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master.
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If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she went to buy a color television, she left the store because they didn't have one in pink.
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Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush. "Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman." "OK," says Ivan. After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
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How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to use a telephone pole as a tampon.
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Yo momma's so stupid, she gave your uncle a bl*wjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, stupid, insulting