Best jokes ever

Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
Vote: has 49.83 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, kids, jewish
Signs You're No Longer in College... You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close. Your potted plants stay alive. You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill. Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces. You attend parties that the police don't raid. You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking. You refer to college students as "those kids." You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza. At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out. Naps are no longer weekday options. Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy. Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips. You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, college, food, money, divorce
A woman come to a doctor, with bumps and bruising all over her body. The woman complains that it was her husband, who beat her. Doctor tells in surprise: "I thought your husband was out of town." "So did I..."
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More jokes about: marriage
Where are you going for vacation this year? I checked my budget and decided that I didn't get tired.
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More jokes about: life
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
Vote: has 49.76 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, teacher, animal
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
Vote: has 49.74 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, love, beauty, birthday, life
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor