Best jokes ever

A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
Vote: has 49.76 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, teacher, animal
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
Vote: has 49.74 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, love, beauty, birthday, life
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
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More jokes about: money
How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower.
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More jokes about: black humor
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.
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More jokes about: black humor
A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon. They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do. Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together. After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together. Finally, they begin to rub their hips together. Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom. After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared. "What happened?" asks his bride. "I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, holiday
A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can't find the tickets. Dad: "Nip home and see if I left the tickets there." Bobby: "No probs, Dad." Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium. Bobby: "Yep, they're on the kitchen table where you left them."
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, animal
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
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More jokes about: cop, prison
One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried. "What's the matter?" the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight," explained the guy "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days." The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" asked the bartender. "Yeah, except today is the last night."
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol