Best jokes ever

They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
Vote:
has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, flirt, sex
Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.
Vote:
has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
Vote:
has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
Vote:
has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, military, women
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
Vote:
has 51.00 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage
If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 51.00 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 50.99 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Vote:
has 50.99 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: math, school, student, stupid, teacher
Chuck Norris actually completed Tetris.
Vote:
has 50.98 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Q:What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar? A:"Do you mind if I push in your stool?"
Vote:
has 50.98 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: gay
<<<887888889890
More jokes →
Page 887 of 1429.