What's a rabbits favorite song? "Hoppy Birthday to You."
Having gone to his secretary's apartment, Mr. Biggs was astonished to wake up and find that it was three in the morning. "My God!" he shouted, "My wife is going to kill me!" Unsure of how he would explain it, he ran to the nearest pay phone and called his wife. "Honey!" he began, "Don't call the cops and don't pay the ransom." "I escaped!"
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she went on a cruise, a walrus jumped aboard and started singing 'we are family'.
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown Said no one could lay her down. Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of swinging meat. He took her in the long tall grass, Shoved his dick right up her ass. Then she blew one gnarly fart, Blew his ball two feet apart. Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of shredded meat.
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
A girl visited her boyfriend, which was still living with his mother, at his house. His mother had Puritan principals. The mother, as long as the girl was there, didn’t even try to hide her dislike feelings for his son’s choice. "Mom, can I escort Helen?" The girl, waiting to hear a cold hearted "no", she surprised hears: "Sure... You can! Escort her... to the corner with your eyes!"
"May I buy half a rabbit?" "No, we don't split hares."
What do cows like to listen to? Moo-sic.
What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.