Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.
Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father. He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Yo Mommas SO POOR I SEE HER KICKING A CAN DOWN THE ROAD, I SAID "WHAT YAR DOING " SHE SAID "MOVING"!
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
Two guys are out hunting deer... The first guy says, "Did you see that?...pointing to the sky." "No," the second guy says. "Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead!" the first guy says. "Oh," says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, pointing to a far ridge, the first guy says, "Did you see that?" "See what?" the second guy asks. "Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there!" "Yah, Ok", says the second guy again with a bit of irritation in his voice. A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?" This time pointing behind them. By now, the second guy is getting very aggravated and says, "Yah, I SAW IT!" And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course”, comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Scotland”, replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Scotland too! Let’s have another round to Scotland.” “Of Course”, replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: “Where in Scotland are you from?” “Aberdeen”, comes the reply. “I can’t believe it”, says the first man. “I’m from Aberdeen too! Let’s have another drink to Aberdeen.” “Of course”, replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: “What school did you go to?” “Saint Andrews”, replies the second man. “I graduated in ’62.” “This is unbelievable!”, the first man says. “I went to Saint Andrews and graduated in ’62, too!” About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. “What’s been going on?”, he asks the bartender “Nothing much,” replies the bartender. “The MacClyde twins are drunk again.”, because there ain’t no way I can pass that test.”anisms.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
A nigger was walking in the jungle when he saw a sexy woman that was fighting for her life with a giant snake. The Nigger quickly jumps and kills the snake. The woman says to him: You saved me! I am I magic fairy and I can grand you any wish. I would like you to make me white and put me between your legs. Then, the fairy made him into cotton wall tampon...