Best jokes ever

A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
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More jokes about: dirty, god
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
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More jokes about: gay
Ted said to his friend, 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8,' his friend replied. That's OK, you can always owe me the other $2!
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More jokes about: money
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
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More jokes about: marriage, wife, husband, work
It is genetically pre-recorded in men’s brain to look for a women, which is alike his mother – said Mr. John to the judge at the court, where he was being blamed for raping his sister.
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Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
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More jokes about: marriage, divorce
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
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More jokes about: school, college, age
Q: Why do Retirees smile all the time? A: Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
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More jokes about: old people, time, communication
Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
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More jokes about: marriage, birthday, wife
HOW did an Intelligent BOY PROPOSE to a Girl. He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT & in the MIDDLE of River said: "LOVE ME or LEAVE the BOAT."
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More jokes about: marriage, love