Q: What's the difference between jews and boyscouts? A: Boyscouts come back from their camp.
Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.
What do you call a nigger with a peg leg? Shit on a stick!
Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon? A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes.
Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV? A: His son running away with your VCR.
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."