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A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better." One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."
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Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken? A: Egg-splosion
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Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
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I wouldn’t say that inflation is making my life difficult, but I’m now starving on an income I used to dream about.
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Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
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Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
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A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie’s house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park…and couldn’t find his way home. ” Oy Morris “, said grandma, ” You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? ” Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear. Morris whispered, ” I wasn’t lost…..I was just too tired to walk home.”
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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