What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
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Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball bat.
The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
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Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"That will be one ruble," says the bartender.
"One ruble!" the customer protests, "last week it was only fifty kopeks!"
"Well," replies the bartender, "it's fifty kopeks for the beer and fifty kopecs for the perestroika."
Reluctantly, the customer gives the bartender a ruble, and is surprised when the bartender gives him back fifty kopecs and says, "We are out of beer."
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
A blonde walked up to a man and said, "Give me your wallet."
The man said, "Okay, but give me the gun."
The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet.
The man used the gun to steal his wallet back.
The blonde said, "You're an idiot...there's no bullets in the gun."
The man replied, "You're the idiot...here's no money in the wallet."
Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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