If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
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Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent.
They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart?
Her ears flap.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Q: How do you eat a frog?
A: You put one leg behind each ear.
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What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea?
One's a cunning runt.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why there's only one airbender left.
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A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.