A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. "Have you had any bites?" asked the second man. "Yes, lots," replied the first one, "but they were all mosquitoes."
Why did the little Greek boy run away from home? He didn't like the way he was being reared.
I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA? Class: The second one!
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
Q:How do you know when you are at a gay picnic? A:When all the hot dogs taste like shit!
She’s got her very own method of birth control. She takes her make-up off.