Best jokes ever

Question: How is a woman like a laxative? Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.
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More jokes about: women
Chuck Norris drives in reverse and still drives better than you...
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More jokes about: blonde, car
Knock, Knock! Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? That's a great TV show, isn't it?
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More jokes about: knock-knock, doctor
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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More jokes about: women
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
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More jokes about: disgusting
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousn ess or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
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More jokes about: blonde, horse, time
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Yo mama so fat even dora cant explore her.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, insulting
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
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More jokes about: school, student, science
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris